My Inner Felines

Nine Cats
a quick meditation for when I'm in a hurry

I call upon the spirits of nine cats.

1) First, Poosy Gato, Gordo's cat, for joy, coolness, and wordplay.

2) Second, Mehitabel, for strength and resilience; self-belief in adversity despite the judgments of others.

3) Third, Tom Cat, foe of Jerry Mouse, for dexterity and fighting spirit, even when loss is foreordained, without complaint.

4) Fourth, Eek! the Cat, the kindest cat of all, for whom it never hurts to help, even when it darn well does.

5) Fifth, Sylvester, whose self-concern reminds me not to forget to take myself into consideration.

6) Sixth, Felix, for the will to keep on walking. Left foot, right foot: If not there yet, repeat.

7) Seventh, the Kliban cat, for the vision to see things that we can't.

8) Eighth, Snagglepuss, for discretion, and knowing when to exit, Stage Right.

9) Ninth, the Unknown Cat, heard at night or glimpsed in passing. A mystery, already gone.For qualities not enumerated.

To augment my own inner cat spirit, I summon these, like nine numbered spirits in an animated cartoon, to gather around me and commune, nourishing my soul and adding their strength to mine.

Good kitties.
.

Note: This may be where I first wrote my procedural motto, "Left Foot, Right Foot: If Not There Yet, Repeat." If you take nothing else away from this, I suggest remembering these words. They have been getting me through life for some time now, and work in a number of ways, metaphorical and literal.
.

this just in (in 1972)

.
"A recent study by the Food and Drug Administration reveals that over 90% of all alcoholics started with beer. The yellow-ish colored carbonated beverage, which many groups contend is harmless, contains up to 12% of ethanol (c2h5oh), the same active ingredient found in higher quantities in stronger liquor.

"Though the study failed to find a provable cause-effect link between the use of beer and of harder beverages, the researchers did point to 'an atmosphere of experimentation" that was conducive to involvement with more powerful alcoholic drinks."

This was presented as a (fake) news item in a 1972 National Lampoon, and from time to time I want to quote it somewhere, so here it is as a private service. 

Caveat: reproduced from memory, and likely paraphrased as a result, but it's accurate in its particulars.
.

a clown's clown

I was reminded today of a Superman episode where a clown goes bad (yeah, yeah, I know) and falls off of a roof. Superman gets there a minute too late, and the police fill him in on it. I always wanted to rewrite the cop’s speech:

“Yes, Superman. He was a clown who went bad. But I want to tell you: I’ve been a cop in this town for twenty years, and I never saw anything like it. He stood up on that roof, four stories above the street, and when he felt his balance going, he met the challenge, faced it like a true clown.

“His back was to the street. First he leaned in as far as he could, with his arms whirling like two windmills in a hurricane. Then he leaned back and those arms went even faster. Then his butt stuck out what seemed like a mile, and we could see he was going down.

“He went feet first! He went head first! He went butt first! He tried flapping his arms! He mimed like he was praying, on his knees and everything. He reached up and grabbed his hat and planted that tiny little thing back on his head. And it stayed! He pulled an itty-bitty umbrella out of somewhere and held it over himself until it turned inside out, and then he threw it away.

“Then he gave a big sigh. It was just as if you could hear what he was thinkin’. He shrugged his shoulders and looked sad and waved bye-bye. And he put on a brave little smile.

“And when he hit that street, he made the loudest HONK any of us ever heard. We were still clapping when you showed up.”

And where were you, anyway, Man of Steel? Getting popcorn?
.