That's right, Reader! We have our own gol-darned shopping network! And we've had it since the 1980s. We hope to have the bugs out of it and get it all up and running SOON.
Oh, sure, everybody sells that stuff now! I was years ahead of my time, or anybody's!
I had to leave one of these behind in our old place, with like five left. I hear the new people never even looked closely at it.
There was also a line of artificial Christmas trees whose branches didn't begin till four feet up. A simple electric fence around the bottom does the rest!