(archives & links below)

THE NEW PALS CLUB WEB-LOG

THE NEW PALS CLUB WEB-LOG
improbable-looking limestone karsts in Guilin

Monday, September 09, 2013

TOP TEN Amazing Facts about Sir Isaac Newton!

.
10:
Tried to promote military uses of gravity, but farmers of the day couldn't deliver enough weaponized Granny Smiths.

9:
Was accompanied for years by lookalike nephews, J-saac, M-saac, and N-saac.

8:
Instead of "Theory of Gravitation," he had originally intended to pen a sweeping multi-generation outer space saga, but was advised to "write what you know."

7:
Never actually won the Nobel Prize for Gravity!

6:
Would try to impress his name on acquaintances by urging them to visualize a NEWT ON his head.

5:
"Sir" in his name was actually self-awarded, and was always accompanied by "air quotes."

4:
He once dropped an apple on a man in Reno, just to watch him make that "Ow! My head!" face.

3:
He personally founded a small town in Massachusetts.

2:
Hated goddamn figs!

And the #1 Amazing Fact about Sir Isaac Newton:

1:
Recanted Law of Gravity on his deathbed, and everybody floated off into space!
.