toon river anthology strikes again

RIP HAYWIRE

Sweet Mother Macreedy! I hate to disappoint you,

But if you’re here for a tearful admission 

Of my gnawing fears and secret doubts, or

An ironically revealing origin story, or perhaps

The news that I was put here by the betrayal

Of a colleague or a loved one —

My dog, maybe — then you’re out of luck.

Dead? No way! I don’t know what this is about, but

It sure as hello kitty isn’t my grave or my stone.

Death is for saps and sidekicks. No sirree Bob,

I’m not under this dumb rock. I’m somewhere else,

Sticking my neck out, enjoying an honest rhubarb.

This? This is a dream, or some imaginary story,

Maybe even a sinister plot by my enemies

Meant to fool someone or other. Happens every day.

Heroes don’t die. Anyone with the common sense of a flapjack

Would know that. Scrambooch, buster,

And save your flowers for somebody who needs 'em.